


how rare and beautiful

by thessalami



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: 1x12 Au, Canon Divergence, Cute, Episode: s01e12 Malec, Flash Forward, Fluff, Happy Ending, If I do say so myself, M/M, alec calls off the wedding before it starts, how does one tag, i guess, magnus walks in not knowing, some slight angst if u squint, they're canonically in love can u believe, to their wedding :')
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-08
Updated: 2017-05-08
Packaged: 2018-10-29 15:41:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10857006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thessalami/pseuds/thessalami
Summary: "I do. Feel what you feel, I mean.""And what's that?""Are you really gonna make me spell it out?""Yes."Alec calls off the wedding and Magnus finds him sitting on the altar's steps.





	how rare and beautiful

**Author's Note:**

  * For [soft snakes](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=soft+snakes).



> i wrote this in and for soft snakes (love u laid ease and pee poles) and i just kind of wrote it out here i guessish i can't be bothered to read it so excuse moi if theres any mistakes in there.
> 
> title by sleeping at last's saturn (cue miri crying)

Magnus isn't sure how many shadowhunters he was supposed to expect behind the heavy brick when he rushed through the doorway, but he only finds one. His feet slowly come to a stop as he looks up. On the steps of the altar, a tall, dark-haired man is seated, elbows on his knees and chin resting on his hands. He's too far away for Magnus to be able to see his facial expression. And too far away in general. Still, Magnus doesn't move. He can't.

He's either really early - which is unlikely - or too late, and he's not sure which is worse. He doesn't even dare hope for the third option.

Okay, he hopes a little.

He forces his legs to take a few steps closer, and it's just enough to catch the small smile on Alec's face. He's been looking at Magnus from the moment he walked in. Staring, even. All Magnus can do is stare back. He looks beautiful in white. Angelic. He's not wearing gold, though, Magnus notices then. But that doesn't necessarily mean... _that_. And neither does his messy hair. And the lack of a tie showing when Alec lets his hands fall down. None of that has to mean-

"I called it off," Alec says, just loud enough for Magnus to hear it on the other end of the room. 

He called it off. _He called it off_. He's not getting married. He's not marrying Lydia. 

A sigh of relief leaves Magnus' lungs, and before he can think about it, his feet are moving again. 

"You did." He's not sure if he's asking or confirming it. All he knows is Alec still has that smile on his lips as he nods, and then looks down at his hands. 

"It wouldn't have been fair to her. Or me."

Magnus hums. He's halfway down the aisle now, and he's not sure if he's ever felt this relieved and nervous at the same time.

Alec looks back up at him and licks his lips almost nervously. "And there's someone else, too."

It's like the words unlock something in him - in the both of them - cause finally Alec stops holding back his smile.

"Really?" Magnus asks teasingly. He stops walking, only a few feet away from Alec.

"Yeah," Alec breathes. He looks up at Magnus with those beautiful, big, hazel eyes, and if half the reason Magnus decides to sit down next to him is because he doesn't trust his legs to keep him up, no one has to know. 

They sit there in silence for a while. Close, but not close enough for their thighs to be touching. Magnus is staring at the doorway, but he knows without having to look that Alec is looking down at where their knees are almost touching. 

"I do," Alec says after a few minutes, and Magnus can't help but feel his heart stutter at those two words being said to him in a setting like this*. "Feel what you feel, I mean."

Magnus turns his head to look at him, smile tugging at the corners of his lips. He's so _close_ and Magnus wants nothing more than to touch him. He could. He doesn't.

"And what's that?"

Alec huffs, a grin on his face when he looks down at his hands. "Are you really gonna make me spell it out?"

"Yes."

He looks back up at Magnus, lips parted and his eyes so full of _something_. "I like you. A lot."

Magnus ignores the urge to kiss him right then and there in favor of raising an unimpressed eyebrow at him. He doesn't even begin to try to stop smiling, though. That one's a lost cause.

Alec rolls his eyes at him and softly nudges Magnus' shoulder with his, sending shivers down his entire body. "I'm not as good at this-" He makes a vague gesture; 'words', 'relationships', "as you are. But I just..." He laughs nervously and rubs the back of his neck. "I really like you. And you make me really nervous, but I've also never felt as... as _good_  as I do when I'm with you. Like it's okay to be myself. And I really want- I hope you'll still get those drinks with me. Even after all those things I said before. Which I didn't mean, by the way. I'm really sorry about that; I was so stressed and-"

"Alexander."

"Yeah?"

"I know."

"Okay," Alec breathes. "Okay, good."

"And I'll still go on that date with you."

Magnus has seen millions - if not billions - of smiles during his centuries on this planet, but not a single one compares to the one on Alec's face right now. He seems to be lost for words, blurting out a few "great, yeah, good"s before looking away from Magnus again, probably to hide his smile. 

There's things that need to be done, stuff to take care of... They can't just sit here all day, smiling like idiots. Magnus knows that. But he deserves this, even just for a few minutes, after everything he's been through, and Alec does too. And so they sit there, doing exactly that: smiling and stealing glances at each other in silence. Alec isn't wearing any shoes, Magnus realizes then, and he really shouldn't find it as incredibly adorable as he does.

"So did Izzy tell you?" Alec asks after a while. "That the wedding was off, I mean?"

Magnus frowns. "No."

"Then how did you know?"

"I didn't."

Alec stares at him for a few seconds. "You walked in here thinking the wedding was happening?"

"I did."

"I-" Alec starts. "But what if it _was_ happening?"

Magnus shrugs. "Then you would've had to do it with me here."

Alec looks at him thoughtfully. "I would've called it off."

"Still?"

"Yeah."

Magnus lets out a short laugh and shakes his head. "You know, a lot of drama could've been avoided, had you canceled it sooner."

He almost feels bad for saying it, especially so lightly, but Alec smiles at him. "Hey, I put a lot of thought into it, okay? I made a list and everything."

"Really?" Magnus teases, raising his eyebrows at him. "And what was on that list?"

Before he's finished his sentence, Alec is reaching into his pocket, taking out a messily folded piece of paper and putting it in Magnus' lap.

Magnus only looks at it for half a second before starting to protest. "I was joking, Alexander. This is private-"

"Read it," Alec interrupts quickly. "I just- You should read it."

Magnus studies his face for a few seconds before looking back down at the piece of paper in his hands and unfolding it.

The words " _pros_ " and " _cons_ " at the top have been scratched out, but not enough to be unreadable. Underneath, they've been corrected by " _things I know_ " and " _things I don't know_ ".

" _Things I know_ ," Magnus starts, but Alec makes a panicked noise and puts one hand over the paper and the other one on Magnus' arm. 

"Not out loud," he says with a shy smile. 

"Alexander," Magnus counters.

They stare at each other for a few seconds - knees now touching - before Alec gives in. "Fine," he says, moving to place his hands back in his lap, but Magnus quickly catches one of them. Both of them hold their breaths until Alec carefully laces their fingers together.

" _Things I know_ ," Magnus starts again. " _I'm gay_." He squeezes Alec's hand. " _I don't love Lydia; I can't breathe when he's near; I can't breathe when he's not_..." Magnus softly clears his throat, as it starts to close up, but he continues. " _I want to know everything about him; I've wanted to kiss him since the night he healed Luke Garroway; I do feel what he feels; this isn't about what I want; this isn't about him; I HAVE TO marry Lydia; I don't deserve him_... Alec-"

"Just... keep reading, please," Alec says softly.

" _Things I don't know: how to stop feeling like this; if I want to stop feeling like this; why I keep somehow making this about him when it's NOT; why this is so fucking hard; why I'd be worth_ -" 

Magnus looks up then, refusing to look at the words any longer. 

"Alexander, there's a lot of people out there who don't deserve me..." He lets a playful smile onto his face and nudges Alec's shoulder to lighten the mood. "Full stop." Alec huffs out a laugh and rolls his eyes, but Magnus squeezes his hand to make him look at him again. "You are definitely not one of those people."

Alec smiles softly at him and, fuck, how badly Magnus wants to make him realize that he deserves nice things.

"Do you have a pen on you, Alexander?" he finds himself asking.

"Don't you have magic for that?"

Magnus looks up at the familiarity of those words, only to find Alec already grinning at him.

"A reference to our first night together? How nerdy. I think you and your friends have exerted me enough for the next few weeks," he teases back. 

Alec does happen to have a pen on him, and Magnus shushes him before he can even try to ask what he needs it for. "Close your eyes."

And then he starts writing. It's messy, but he can't get himself to care. 

"Now open them," he puts the paper in Alec's lap, "and read." It's quiet for a second until Magnus adds "out loud".

" _Things I, Magnus Bane, high warlock, know: you're definitely 100% worth everything good in this world; you could kiss me whenever you want to; you should_." Magnus smiles brightly at the blush spreading on Alec's cheeks. " _I want to get to know you and I want you to get to know me; I must like you a lot if I was willing to crash a shadowhunter wedding for you. Things I don't know: I'm Magnus Bane, I know everything. Side note: I actually don't know how Maryse and Robert Lightwood's son grew up to be such an amazing man. I'll be right on that to research it with all my resources_." 

Alec rolls his eyes fondly. He's still blushing, but for once he doesn't try to hide it.

"Now keep that with you in case you ever doubt yourself," Magnus semi-jokes.

"Actually," Alec smiles, "I think I'll just talk to you, if that's okay."

Alexander really never ceased to amaze him. 

"More than okay. In fact, nothing good ever seems to come out of the two of us not talking."

Alec laughs. "Yeah."

And no matter how much Magnus wishes he could sit there with Alec for the rest of his immortal life, there's stuff that needs to get taken care of. Which is exactly what he tells Alec. He stands up and offers Alec a hand. He turns to walk away as soon as Alec is on his feet, knowing they won't get anything done if he doesn't, but he's pulled right back in. And Alec's eyes are staring into his and then at his lips and at his eyes and then his lips again, and they're close enough they'd be able to feel each other's breath if either of them was actually breathing, and maybe Alec leans in first, or maybe it's Magnus, or possibly both, and then they're finally kissing. 

And then Alec is murmuring "you told me to kiss you whenever I wanted to, so I just... yeah..." against Magnus' lips and Magnus starts laughing, and they have to stop kissing because they're both smiling so widely and, wow, they're gonna fall so in love.

\---

*"I do," Alec says again, exactly four years later. This time they're both standing at the altar, instead of sitting on its steps.

**Author's Note:**

> hmu on twitter using #thessalami or @izzypenhallow (let aline and izzy date thanks)


End file.
